Liar, Liar, Pants on Fire!


This is not an admirable goal, but…
I wish I had the talent to lie.
I know, I know- bad person alert.
I suck at lying.
I stammer, I ramble, I avoid eye contact. Basically every tell-tale sign that people exhibit when they lie, I exhibit.
I’m just not good at it.
And I wish I was.
Because you cannot tell me that the ability to lie effectively does not come in handy every now and then.
Even just white lies to save people’s feelings, for instance, “Yes, those jeans really do make your butt look smaller.” “That’s okay. I like tea without milk and sugar.” “Your car isn’t that messy. Everyone finds decomposed apples under the seat all the time.”
The ability to lie effectively seems particularly enticing this morning. I was just called and asked if I could work a shift in another town.
I didn’t particularly want to work today. Besides having a lot of studying to do, I just didn’t feel like spending a couple of hours travelling somewhere for a three hour shift and then a couple of hours travelling home.
So I lied.
I said I had to watch my little sisters.
If I had just left it at that, I probably would have gotten away with it.
Except I got flustered as I always do when I lie.
I went into hyper-explanation mode:
“I have to watch my sisters… because my mum went to Sydney to visit my Aunt and do an assignment for her course. Its school holidays so my sisters are at home and they’re too young to be by themselves. They were originally going to go with her, but the car was making a funny noise so she borrowed her friend’s car which doesn’t have as many seats so my sisters couldn’t go. I think they were happy about it, anyway.”
I said all of this at high-speed. Full-on rambling mode. I imagine the girl I was talking to was eager to get off of the phone.
As soon as she hung up, waves of guilt rolled over me. Not so much about not doing the shift, they can easily find someone else.
No, I felt bad for lying. I mean, really, couldn’t I have just said I have a lot of studying to do? Why did I have to concoct a big story?
Probably due to a combination of an overactive imagination and a guilty conscience.
So, I don’t think that I really got away with it. What I said was true by the way- all of that about my mum and sisters. The detail I failed to mention was that my dad happened to have the day off today, so it wasn’t necessary for me to stay home.
A lie mixed with truth.
I would have gotten away with it too, if it weren’t for that stinking mutt- I mean, guilty conscience!
I guess it’s not such a bad thing, now that I think about it.

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6 thoughts on “Liar, Liar, Pants on Fire!

  1. Pingback: The Talent I Don’t Have :/ | The Arkside of Thought

  2. Pingback: Daily Prompt: Practice Makes Perfect? | Chronicles of an Anglo Swiss

  3. Pingback: Talents | A mom's blog

  4. Pingback: Do I really wish for talent? | Rob's Surf Report

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